when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
