I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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