Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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