Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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