I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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