sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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