its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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