Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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