i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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