I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
