worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
