yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize