I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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