Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
