on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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