how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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