The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
