got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
