He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize