i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
