MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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