i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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