Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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