So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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