he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
