Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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