Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
