He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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