Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
