I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
false alarm, still single
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