It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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