I need to stop coming to work sober
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize