I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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