her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
