Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
