I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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