Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
