So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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