he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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