Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
