just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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