i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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