Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
