Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
