I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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