wat bout pragnant strippers??
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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