So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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