How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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