the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
