Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
