My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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