so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
