Kiss
Puke
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
