You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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