Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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