got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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