Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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