You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
