Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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