help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
